Twice as Hard for Half as Much: Navigating My Identity as a Black Gay Male
Chris Crosby
Team Leader, Identity Protection
New Albany, OH
Pronouns: He/Him/His
The journey to coming out
I first started to come out to myself during my junior year of high school. I felt a lot of uncertainty and confusion, to say the least. I struggled with understanding I was gay through high school and into college. Being a Black gay male in predominately white institutions made me think about my actions and opportunities differently. From those experiences, I learned that I’m not just Black and not just gay, but the combination of both.
My grandmother’s words
It’s taken me years to fully find myself and understand who I am as a gay man. I can say now that I know who I am 100%. In my 30’s, I know that being true to myself and sharing my experiences authentically is part of my core identity. That said, I’m living my life about 80% of the fullest it could be. I’m working through some personal hurdles, but my support system gives me the ability to push through. My grandmother once told me, “as long as you’re happy I am happy for you. Just do good things in the world.” Her words had a huge impact on me. I know now that no matter what, I’m supported.
Their last moments
I’m still working on being in the present moment. For me, that lesson truly hit after the passing of both of my grandmothers. Being present is about putting my phone down and enjoying the moment and the company of those around me. I learned that I may never know when that moment may be the last interaction or time.
Stay ready
My best piece of advice is, “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” This advice is not about being prepared, it’s about never being caught off-guard. At times during meetings, I get questioned about what I’m presenting. I never let those questions derail me— I always have a response that fits.
Twice as hard for half as much
It’s hard to navigate corporate America as a Black gay man. There’s always the mentality that I’ll have to work twice as hard to get half as much. So when I first started working, I kept my identity private and only told a select few. As I progressed in my career, I learned that if I hide who I am, I’m not going to be able to give 100% of what I can offer. Now I understand that my identity is major a part of who I am. It allows me to share stories and experiences that can shape the outcome of the business.
Representation matters
Early on in my leadership career, I followed the liner path and didn’t ask questions. I stayed comfortable and trusted in the process. Once I was able to outgrow that way of thinking, I started expressing myself and giving my opinion. My career took off and more and more opportunities have become available.
I also sought out individuals at Discover who looked like me. As simple as that sounds, it can be a challenge. But I’ve found so many people to look up to, across different points in my career. I use them as a reference and motivation to know that I can be greater than where I am today.
Moving towards lasting change
My experience at Discover overall has been one of growth and opportunity. I’ve been fortunate to see how diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI&I) has grown here. I don’t think it’s in the final, best stage, but I also don’t think any company is there. Seeing more people like me is something I believe Discover is working towards. My hope is that as more and more of these new initiatives start up (Chatham, for instance) we see our senior leadership take on a more diverse approach.
My LGBTQ+ cultural fave
For me, it’s about fashion. I always look my best at all times— even when I am not in the mood to. You never know who’s watching!
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