From Bisexual to Queer: The Fluidity of Self-Expression
Dawn
Change Management & Communications Specialist
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: She/Her
My “ah ha” moment
I first came out to myself about 5 years ago. It was a true “ah ha” moment. All the confusion and internal conflict I’d felt since middle school suddenly became clear. I felt liberated— like an elephant suddenly jumped off my shoulders. And then very quickly the fear set in. The fear of having to let the world know my newly discovered truth. I was very lucky that those closest to me were welcoming of the new, authentic me.
Evolving labels
When I first came out it was as bisexual, and it was very cut and dry to me. As time has passed, I’ve become much more comfortable with just saying I’m queer. The term queer is much more fluid, which is how I feel day-to-day. It allows me to fit in a larger spectrum and not feel so labeled. I’ve also recently started doing a lot of introspection on what gender means to me and expect that understanding to evolve over time as well.
Letting go of caring
My advice to my younger self would be, “Accept who you are no matter how scary it is. It’s gonna be okay. You’ll be much happier once you live 100% authentically.” I’m still working on caring less about what other people think. When I realized that’s what held me back from coming out sooner in life, I promised myself I’d work on not worrying about it anymore. I’m getting better. I’ve done a lot of things in the last few years that I’ve always been very scared to do because of what others would think (i.e., cutting all my hair off, getting tattoo sleeves, etc.)
Embracing myself
My relationship with myself has completely changed. I’m finally embracing myself as a queer individual. I’m now more confident in my own skin and confident in who I am as a person, a mother, a friend, etc. The best decision I ever made was to become a mom. My son has blessed my life in ways I could never have expected.
My LGBTQ+ cultural fave
I love using power tools and building things and working outside. I’m super eco-conscious and spend a lot of time upcycling furniture or things around the house. I guess my stereotypical LGBTQ+ fave would be being a queer woman with a tool belt.
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