Finding My Way Back to Security after a Childhood Lived in Caution
Megan I.
Team Leader, Deposits Front Office
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: She/Her
Navigating religion and the LGBTQ+ community
It was extremely hard for me to come out to myself. I grew up in a religion where being a part of the LGBTQ+ community was not okay and it was shameful. I always knew that there was something off about me and that I wasn’t attracted to the typical “marry a man and have lots of children” expectation. I denied the same sex attraction feelings I had. When I was 16, I stumbled across the LGBTQ+ community through social media and was immediately drawn to it. As soon as I could see that two women can be married with children and have a fulfilling life, I came out to myself.
When I came out to my parents, it was discussed that I would move across the country to live in another state in an effort to be closer to their religion and suppress my feelings. When I did eventually come out, I learned that my family found it more important that I follow their religion over me living a happy and healthy life.
Advice for my younger self
When I was younger and figuring out my same-sex attraction, leaning towards the label of bisexual was easiest. As I was able to explore my sexuality further, I felt comfortable identifying as lesbian. I would tell my younger self: these moments will pass and what you’re feeling right now is not how you’re going to feel when you get to your 20’s. I know you are feeling insignificant, lost, and sad. Just wait, before you know it you are going to figure it all out and meet the person who will change your life forever in the best of ways!
Social media and meeting my fiancée
The best decision I ever made was broadcasting through a video streaming site. I became an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and would broadcast to meet people all over the world who were struggling with coming out and seeking advice! My current fiancé who lived in England at the time stumbled upon my broadcast and we exchanged information. We are now 5 years into our relationship, have a house in the United States, and are moms to 3 beautiful pups!
Cautious pronouns
Oftentimes, if I’m unsure of how LGBTQ+ friendly a situation is, when speaking about my fiancé, I use they/them pronouns or substitute “my partner” or “my fiancé.” A mistake I’ve made is being too cautious. I’ve never had a negative interaction from a co-worker finding out I’m a lesbian. My management, peers, and people I manage have always been supportive. Yet, I’ve held back when sharing personal stories. If I could change anything, I would be open and proud from the start. I wouldn’t hold back when asked about my relationships and I would use she/her pronouns from the get-go.
Feeling secure at work
When I was first hired at Discover, I was so scared for anyone to know that I was in a relationship with a woman. I didn’t have very many positive experiences or role models that I knew of that were successful and out. I’ve been very blessed to work for a company that I personally have never felt like my sexuality has held me back from opportunities. The environment at Discover is amazing. My management and peers have always made me feel included.
My LGBTQ+ obsession
I love building things from scratch and wearing flannels! If I see something, my first thought is, “I have enough tools and resources to create that.” My fiancé and I will also sometimes match or coordinate clothes to dress similar. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it’s not but that’s still okay with us.
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