Evolving Over Time: Our Stories of Gender Fluidity and Self Expression

Kayla
IRA Specialist
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: they/them

I’m evolving more daily and learning to love myself! I used to think I was just a masculine girl, but after a teacher had me read a book featuring a transgender superhero, I started my journey of learning I am not Cisgender. The book helped me on my journey to come out as nonbinary immensely. I would tell my younger self that it’s okay to be feminine, it’s okay to like girly things. My relationship to myself and my identity now is honestly still a struggle. I battle with imposter syndrome daily, but I’m working through it! I’m also working on recovering from PTSD. On the journey of accepting my identity, I am almost there.

Natalie
Lead Account Specialist Billing Resolutions
New Castle
Pronouns: She/her

Honestly, my relationship with my identity is a lot better than it’s ever been. For many years I hated myself and didn’t want to accept myself as a transgender person. I tried to live a “normal life.” Eventually, I came to the realization that being me, my true self and identity, was the only way to be happy. Coming to terms with my identity was the only way I could have a real relationship with myself and others. I stopped caring about what other people thought and started doing what makes me happy. I know that I can’t love myself or others if I’m not happy. When I transitioned, I tried on many different names, looks and almost anything else you can think of. One day it just clicked: Natalie Lauren. It was like a lightbulb went off and said YES! This is who you will become. I’ve been that person since.

Nicholas
System Support Specialist
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: He/Him

If I had to label my relationship status with my identity, I would say “it’s complicated.” I love who I am, and I love that my identity is not considered the norm, but at times, I also wonder what it would be like to be looked at as “normal.” I thought coming out would be enough, but it wasn’t. I’m still learning about who I am and what truly defines me.

I also don’t want to be placed in a box. Within the LGBTQ+ community, we tend to place identities in boxes. Categorizing identities reinforces some obligation to act according to the label. This phenomenon is a constant struggle for me. Breaking down those walls and figuring out who I truly am has been the most challenging part of evolving my identity.

Patrick
Lead AML Compliance Specialist
Riverwoods, IL
Pronouns: He/Him/His

For me, acceptance doesn’t look like being explicit and boisterous in my gender expression. I find comfort in being mildly spirited. I’m protective of my own space and will speak my truth on my own time and in the way that benefits me the most. I haven’t been outspoken about coming out because I believe I don’t owe anyone an explanation. Nor do I need validation. I strongly feel that “coming out” is a process of self-discovery. It’s a personal choice to be vocal or passively approach it. But it’s done in your free will and not out of peer pressure.

Dawn
Change Management & Communications Specialist
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: She/Her

I first came out to myself about 5 years ago. It was a true “ah ha” moment. All the confusion and internal conflict I’d felt since middle school suddenly became clear. I felt liberated— like an elephant suddenly jumped off my shoulders.

When I first came out as bisexual, and it was very cut and dry to me. As time has passed, I’ve become much more comfortable with just saying I’m queer. The term queer is much more fluid, which is how I feel day-to-day. It allows me to fit in a larger spectrum and not feel so labeled.

I’ve also recently started doing a lot of introspection on what gender means to me and expect that understanding to evolve over time as well. My relationship with myself has completely changed. I’m finally embracing myself as a queer individual.

Bobby
Agile Coach, Cybersecurity
Riverwoods, IL (Permanently remote from Delaware)
Pronouns: He/Him | They/Them

My identity has definitely evolved over the years and it’s been a wild ride. When I was born I was AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) and in my early adolescent years (11 or 12) I came out to my friends and family as bisexual. In recent years, I came out to myself and then family and friends as Trans. I now live as a proud pansexual transman. In regards to self-discovery and identity, I believe fluidity is the best approach for me and it’s how I’ve learned to love myself on deeper levels.

Laura
Principal Release Manager
New Albany, OH
Pronouns: She / Her

I’m a bi woman, married to a woman who I’ve been with almost 16 years. Most of my life I knew that I was attracted to women, but because I was brought up in a Southern Baptist household, I tried to ignore it. In early 2000 after my engagement ended, I started dating a woman for the first time. I used to think I was either straight or a lesbian, but over time I’ve accepted that for me, it’s about being in love with that person— whatever they identify as.

Karlyn
Team Coach, Customer Service & Engagement Dept. Core
New Albany, OH
Pronouns: They/Them

Come high school, I knew I was different. I learned more about what it meant to be a lesbian and could easily identify with that label. Even still, I would force myself to show up as female because there wasn’t anything that described me fully. I didn’t want to wear dresses, or skirts. And wasn’t a huge fan of how my body was changing. So I hid myself in hoodies and baggy clothes and explored the more masculine side of myself.

Nathan
Account Executive
Riverwoods, IL
Pronouns: He/Him/His

Over time, I’ve grown to accept myself for who I am more and more. Back in my teen years, if someone asked me about my sexual orientation, I definitely would’ve lied. In college, I would’ve answered depending on whether or not I felt safe enough to do so. Once I moved to Chicago, I felt comfortable enough with myself to not care. I realized there was an entire community that identified the way I do.