Dude, You’re Definitely Trans: A Story of Self Love and Fluidity
Bobby
Agile Coach, Cybersecurity
Remote (Delaware)
Pronouns: He/Him | They/Them
Fluidity and self-love
My identity has definitely evolved over the years and it’s been a wild ride. When I was born I was AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) and in my early adolescent years (11 or 12) I came out to my friends and family as bisexual. In recent years, I came out to myself and then family and friends as Trans. I now live as a proud pansexual transman. In regards to self-discovery and identity, I believe fluidity is the best approach for me and it’s how I’ve learned to love myself on deeper levels.
Navigating non-affirming spaces
As a black queer person, I’ve faced many challenges associated with my identity, but the largest battle has always been related to non-affirming spaces. In my early life, I felt discouraged and sometimes ashamed when in non-affirming spaces. But I’ve learned to own my space and experience. When I find myself in a non-affirming space now, I come alive and show more of my personality and uniqueness.
Staying true to me
I strive to be my most authentic self at all times, with the full understanding that some people won’t understand or accept me— and that’s okay. At the end of the interaction, I walk away affirmed because I was true to me. Other people in that space may even learn something that changes their perspective. By being my authentic self, I may have cleared the path for someone who will come after me!
Dude, you’re definitely Trans
I would tell my younger self: “Dude, you’re definitely Trans and that’s cool. Don’t be so weird about it…just come out already and start living your life as the person you are!” I struggled a lot with accepting that I was Trans, but I finally came out to myself at 30. I wish I had the courage to have done it a lot earlier in life but hey… that’s life, right? Now at 32 I’m really happy with myself and my body. I wish that I could have experienced this level of happiness in my youth when I really needed it.
First shot, best shot
On my 31st birthday, I took my first shot of testosterone and it was without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. For years, I contemplated whether or not medically transitioning was the right thing to do and it totally was! I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own body and how I present to the world. I honestly never thought I could feel the way I now feel about myself. Confidence glow up?–absolutely!
Claiming space
I navigate corporate structures with intention and compassion. I’m intentional about 2 things– being my most authentic self and taking up space. I thrive when I can be my authentic self and bring ideas from my unique perspective on the world. I’m intentional about taking up space because early in my career I was plagued by imposter syndrome and it caused me to shrink away from various opportunities. In recent years, I’ve learned to own my experience with greater accountability. I take up the space required to present new and fresh ideas, foster and cultivate relationships with my coworkers, and drive growth and diversity within corporate culture.
My LGBTQ+ obsession
I have secret love of a certain Queen of R&B (not so secret when you see me dancing to any of her songs). I listen to her nearly every day—if you show up to one of my meetings early… you may get a personal concert. Her music keeps me feeling upbeat and a little sassy during the work day, which helps me tackle complicated problems.
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