Ace Pride Pins and The Power of Finding a Label
Stephanie Garcia
Loan Review Specialist
Lake Park, UT
Pronouns: She/Her
That moment of validation
After high school, I wanted to participate more in Pride events and do what I could to be a support system for others. That’s when I came across articles that showed different sexualities and discovered the definition of Asexual. After reading the definition, I remember feeling so happy and relieved that other people felt like I did. I felt reassured that I wasn’t broken or wrong.
A week later, I was hanging my friend who had recently came out as Pansexual. I showed her the article and felt so happy and validated. To this day she continues to support and validate my identity, and I do the same for her.
Letting go of judgement
Apart from my friend, I kept my sexual identity to myself at first. I felt worried that people would judge me and say that Asexuality wasn’t a valid identity. Then I slowly started wearing Ace Pride pins and eventually venturing into clothing. My parents were confused at first but are now super supportive and even educate others on asexual awareness. I’m currently working on not feeling like I take up space at Pride events and feeling more included within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.
What I know I deserve
The best decision I ever made was to start talking to a therapist. As someone who was all about helping others, it was extremely hard for me to admit that I needed help. Getting the help I needed was extremely overdue and I’m so proud of myself. I know I believe in living life for my own happiness— making others happy by sacrificing my own only breaks me down. Lately, I’ve compiled a list of goals of activities to do and places to go. My friends have noticed a change in my demeanor and have been having a blast hanging out and being equally happy.
I would tell my younger self to care about herself as much as she care about others. I would tell her that she deserves all the love and care she can give herself.
Grappling with my fear of disappointing people
In the past, I’ve made the mistake of taking on too many projects. It’s extremely easy to be stretched too thin and pulled in too many directions. This also goes along with not knowing when to say no. I have a huge fear of disappointing people. I’d always say yes, when it would have been better to say no. I’ve learned to know my limits and not be afraid to say no if I really can’t do something.
A powerful pin
I volunteered for a Pride event a few years ago to help customer care representatives at Discover agents sign up for the Ally Program. I was sitting at the booth looking at the list of identities on display and was so excited to see Asexual listed for all to see. After helping at the booth for a bit, many agents asked what Asexuality means. I got to describe it to a few people and they were so interested to learn more.
My friend in a previous department even saw my Ace Pride pin and asked what it meant. We talked for a little while and he finally opened up to me to say he felt the same way. He felt so glad that I opened up to him and told him that he wasn’t alone.
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